J stared at herself in the mirror. She took one peak down at the sink before looking back at the reflection of herself. J wiped the tears streaming down her face and attempted a forced smile. Though it slowly faded and the dam that was holding back the tears burst again.
She planted herself on top of the toilet seat and started to ponder everything. J stretched her arm, reaching across the sink to grab the one thing that was about to cause her life to flip on its head. A pregnancy test.
There were about five total in the bathroom, but the one on the sink was the only one J didn’t toss in frustration. J couldn’t bear to look another time. She hoped her eyes were deceiving her. But she was only delaying the inevitable. The two lines on all five tests told the same story. J was pregnant.
It was a wrench in her plans. She wanted to go to college to study broadcast journalism and become a reporter. Having to raise a kid at 17 years old was a major obstacle. J had been saving up since she was extremely young, but her family struggled to get by. Her mom always warned her about getting pregnant and not making the same mistakes she did.
J always promised to be careful and that she would learn from her mother’s mistakes, but in an instant that promise was broken. She wanted to be mad at everyone else, but J realized she only had herself to blame.
The tears came more from embarrassment. She didn’t want to let her mom know that she let her down. In her head, J still felt she could be a single mother, work two jobs and still go to college. She knew the idea would be frowned upon by her family. They would tell her to choose her kid or college. J wanted both.
So she wiped the tears off her face one more time and stood up, ready to open the bathroom door. J had no clue what would lie ahead, but one thing was clear. She was ready.
J is…
- 57 years old
- Female
- Straight
- Black, White, and Indigenous
- Upper Middle Class
- Catholic