O and I grew up very differently. Although our towns in New York share a landmass, the lifestyles are worlds apart. O grew up in New York in the 80s with diversity surrounding him and love fulfilling him. O recalled being “rich with love and rich with emotion, and rich with relationships, but we were pretty poor, and we didn’t really realize that.” O with a smile said, “I loved it, I loved my childhood.”
Similar to O, I too was born into so many blessings. An upper-class, white, American family with a beautiful house in New York. My goals and dreams have always been limitless. My American Dream was the idea that I can be anything I want with hard work, but the more I learned about O’s life, I understood that hard work is only one piece of the story.
O’s story is similar to other first-generation Americans. His grandfather immigrated from West Europe after a 28-yearlong battle with citizenship questions within the US government. O and the rest of his cousins who were natural-born citizens fulfilled his grandfather’s American Dream.
O’s American Dream emphasizes a collectivistic culture, where it is not simply about making something of yourself but creating a legacy for his family. He said having an American family was very important to his grandfather.
“I loved it, I loved my childhood.”
“He had an opportunity to leave behind a destitute life and created a world of possibility where all of his grandchildren would have a chance to do something,” said O. His grandfather would think “’I have an American grandchild’, and no one could ever take that away from him.”
O said, “I am the summation of all the generations that came before me mean[ing] that I can add more value to the next [generations] and that’s very important to me.”
O’s recollection of his upbringing shows everyone is born into different privileges and that no one has the same baseline for their ‘American Dream’.
Some paths to fulfill the American Dream are paved before us, as a result of generations of hard work creating a road to pursue aspirations, and some roads we have to pave for ourselves. It is a privilege to have the freedom to choose your path in life. For some, that freedom itself is the dream.
I am the summation of all the generations that came before me mean[ing] that I can add more value to the next [generations] and that’s very important to me.”
When I asked O if he believes in my American Dream he said with a smile, “’Can you be whatever you want to be?’ I think there’s 80% truth in that… but I’ll never be the catcher for the Mets, and I never would’ve been – even at 18 and I was a pretty good athlete at the time!”
O explained a stark difference in our ‘American Dream’ perspectives. My version of an ‘American Dream’ was based on opportunities and privileges I was born into, and O’s dream is to “open [even] one more door” for his kids. O says he remains optimistic in his legacy.
“The [American] Dream isn’t the best dream on the planet, there’s some nightmare qualities to it too, but… I always want to think that better days are ahead, and I almost have to tell myself… that it’s entirely possible for those better days to come… keeps me going. I think that’s the ultimate American Dream right now, the fact that we have the ability to [have hope].”
O is…
- 45 Years-Old
- Male, Cisgender
- White
- Of West European descent
- Upper Middle Class
- Straight