The Shine Is Lost

A grew up with the sights, sounds and food of East Asia within the walls of an East Asian Steakhouse. His parents co-founded the business with A’s aunt and uncle after emigrating to New York state in 1975. They raised A, an only child, on the traditions of their country, while integrating into the American lifestyle.

Growing up in a predominantly white area, A didn’t embrace his Asian heritage outside of the restaurant. Between the assimilation to American culture, his mom reading the local newspaper to grasp the language and being disciplined at home in a mix of broken English and their native language, A said his identity as a person of color isolated him. After graduating high school. “I tried to step away from not only my nationality, but my parents,” A said. This landed him on campus in the same spot he’d left – burying his identity by not being exposed to people like him.

A’s hometown ties weren’t severed when he moved, or when his parents sold their restaurant in 2012. He works for a university office of admissions while based in another city. He remembers bringing his newborn son to his hometown, when they were too busy with the restaurant to enjoy it. But he also remembers the days with his parents in the university’s stadium, on the few occasions they got a break from their restaurant. A’s father was the head chef, clocking 12-hour days while still working on his days off, A said and he barely saw him. “As a kid, you have a wide-eyed image of the American Dream, but the shine is lost because of little life things here and there. It gets lost along the way,” he said.  

Now a father of two, he says his legacy will always bring him back to New York. In continuing his parents’ dreams, A wants to expose his children to their legacy. He wants them to see their grandpa and show them the path that took him from the son of immigrants to a father himself, and all the other things that shaped his experiences, from East Asia and Northeast USA to the stadium, his hometown and back. 

This year, A’s beloved steakhouse underwent renovations to make space for a Cajun-themed restaurant, Seafood Harbor. Although their restaurant is still operating for takeout and dine-in options, half of the building will house the new business. When he heard this news, A said he was distraught for the disappearance of this part of his father’s dream. “I texted my dad like, ‘Dad, what do you think about this?’” A said, “and he just wrote, ‘I stopped by. I’m really looking forward to the Cajun seafood place.’” 

A is…

• 44 Years-Old
• Male, Cisgender
• East Asian
• Christian
• Middle Class
• Straight