American society promotes a very specific ideal of success: money, status, a traditional family. To most people, ‘making it in America’ means achieving upward mobility through the classes to receive fiscal success.
To W, his father, embodied this version of the American Dream. An ambitious businessman, W’s father found himself constantly in search of more money and more businesses to acquire. Yet, as he earned financial success, he found himself none the happier. This, in turn, led W to question the American Dream as society proclaims it, and to seek out a new goal.
W discussed how children in America are often taught to have the goal of becoming president, but as an adult, he realized that that idea of success does not satisfy his personal ambitions.
“Maybe it’s okay to not want to be Jeff Bezos,” said W, “My dad won the game, but there was nothing at the end.”
Rather than seek out the traditional American Dream, W set out to discover one of his own. In evaluating his father’s life, W realized that individualism proved more fulfilling than money. This prompted W to question all societal expectations and reevaluate whether or not those standards made him feel more satisfied.
W sees traditional gender and marriage expectations as limitations. Although he is married to a woman, W identifies as queer, because the first marriage he witnessed where the partners were truly in love was a union between two gay men. This caused him to reconsider marital constructs and approach it differently than most others. W took his wife’s name, and neither of them wear wedding rings. The pair also practices polyamory, which for them means that they have an open marriage, and treat each other like they are dating, because they feel that it keeps their love alive.
In society, gendered expectations prevail and play a large role in the traditional American Dream. Men are expected to be breadwinners, focus on monetary success and work tirelessly.
W’s American Dream celebrates individuality and freedom.
W realized that he felt unfulfilled by those expectations. This prompted him to move to the South, away from major cities and outside pressure to conform. Instead of pursuing monetary wealth, W finds satisfaction in working toward social and environmental changes, because those issues prove meaningful to him.
W’s American Dream celebrates individuality and freedom. His words encourage others to pursue their passions and live authentically. W dismisses the traditional American Dream because it proves only accessible for the privileged. This reformed American Dream may be realized by anyone, regardless of their societal status, race or gender identity. In thinking of the American Dream, W advocates for the traditionally marginalized and paves the way for positive individualism and increased activism in society.
W is…
- 45 Years-Old
- Male, Cisgender
- White
- Nondenominational Christian
- Upper Middle Class
- Mostly Straight But Technically Queer
