*This dream is a post-project artifact, courtesy of Emily Steinberger.
“I’m an only child raised by a single mother. And so I was the center of my mother’s life, of my grandparents’ life. I didn’t even know that there was a math stereotype about girls until I went to MIT and was told by my classmates that I’m not expected to be good at math.
As an only child, I never sat at the children’s table. I was never subjugated in that context. I was always at the adult table. And I knew not to interrupt adults, but if you’re at the adult table, you’re listening to adult conversations, you’re contributing to adult conversations. And my family treated me accordingly – if we were having some conversation, and I had some observation, they would listen. They might laugh, but I was at the table and contributing. Then moving into a world where suddenly people don’t want you at the table or don’t want to listen to you was very shocking to me, even though I knew how it worked.
I know I deserve to be at the table and my categories have just made it more evident that, when I’m at the table, I have to figure out a new way of interacting, because the way these other folks interact-leaning in, interrupting, overly confident — is not going to work to my benefit.
If my dream is to write a book and get tenure, then I know that my categories are going to make that harder. That even if I’m excellent, my colleagues are going to say I’m not excellent.
I’m deeply, deeply, deeply cynical and misanthropic. I don’t like people. I expect the worst in people. And so, you know, as the shitstorm that is U.S. politics continues apace, I’m not surprised.
The American Dream has always been constructed for some at the expense of others, and I think that many people are just starting to see past this ideological veil and are really bothered by what they see. They see that people can’t access education, or the internet, or health care, or clean water, or the other things that we take for granted that allow us to pursue our dreams.
At the same time, it’s become clear that people are dreaming to impede other people’s dreams for America. And it’s getting a lot of social and legal traction. It’s unfortunate, but it is also very American. The dreams of some have always been at the expense of others. But it’s shameless now. It’s shameless.
Having said that, I’m living my American dream. I got tenure and published two books! I have a nice job. I have a nice house. We’re very comfortable. I have a healthy child. I get up, I come to work, I go home. As long as I do my job, I’m square. I live that good job, boring parent life, and it’s lovely.”