*This dream is a post-project artifact, courtesy of Emily Steinberger.
“I was a white mom to an African American daughter. So race played a huge part [in my American Dream]. When she was young and in school, it was very, very clear that we could get additional services for her and clear the path because the two educated white moms would do whatever was necessary in school.
It was really interesting to me that when she then grew up, I couldn’t do that for her anymore. Because when I went to the civic center to help her sign up for services or get services that had been stopped, they were like, “Yeah, we’re not impressed by your being here.” I was like, “Oh, it’s not like school anymore.”
My daughter was stably living with Eddie and Nas’sire was born. I was really hoping that she wouldn’t become homeless, but due to her own choices, she did. And she passed last September due to drug overdose. So the thing that I dreaded the most happened, and, you know, the family goes on, and you continue.
I think it was at that point when I was like, alright, I gotta step up and do more. Because now the kids don’t even have a hope that mom’s coming back. I think that’s about when I started coming every week. So that’s the dramatic change.
I grew up thinking about and always thinking that the American Dream was to have a better life for your kids. And so that definitely influences what my American Dream is. It’s not about me having things but it’s about securing and creating a life so that the next generations have a clear, smooth, healthy path.
Right now as a single white lesbian, it’s pretty funny to come over and be grandma. But I love it. So I guess my categories, they didn’t stop me, they just surprise me because it’s a little bit of a contradiction. But I love contradictions.
K’arma and Nas’sire are my actual grandkids, and I love all of them. They’re my daughter’s kids. And they mean the most to me in my current life.”