The day E got married was the first time he felt like a real citizen.
The American Dream is a concept that many think they understand but few can explain. For E, 62, his American Dream is quite simple. He just wants the same basic human rights as everyone else, like the right to marry who you love.
When E married his partner in 2008, they had already been together for 15 years. California’s Supreme Court overturned the ban on gay marriage in 2008, and they wanted to take advantage of the opportunity. E’s American Dream was simple: he wanted to be recognized as a true American citizen, one who could marry the love of his life and have them be recognized as partners under the law.
When E and his partner wanted to buy a house together, it was a very difficult process. E lived in California, and his partner lived in New York. “We were unrelated strangers, and that was not someone’s opinion, that was the law,” E said.
This encounter led to E feeling like he wasn’t valued by his nation. America was telling him that his love and union were illegal. He was legally a citizen, paying taxes and participating in all of the societal structures of a citizen, but the freedom to love was forbidden.
“I think that I arrived at my American Dream by fighting my way in, … I refused to be a second-class citizen.”
Quickly, E began to feel like an outsider in his own country, even with all of the privilege of being a white man. Oxford Languages defines the American Dream as “the ideal by which equality of opportunity is available to any American, allowing the highest aspirations and goals to be achieved.” But the opportunity to marry was not available to him.
Now, E lives in California with his spouse. He is a senior official for a cathedral. Being involved in the multicultural environment of his Episcopalian church has opened E’s eyes to the realities of the American Dream for others. He hears many different stories and has come to know that the American Dream is different for different people.
This feeling of being an outsider is present in many LGBTQIA+ stories. These stories are often left out when talking about the American Dream, but continuing discourse about these topics can bring them to the attention of the general public.
“I think that I arrived at my American Dream by fighting my way in,” E said. “I refused to be a second-class citizen.”
E is…
- 62 Years-Old
- Male, Cisgender
- White
- West European
- Jewish
- Episcopalian
- Upper Middle Class
- Gay